by Rev. Michael J Dangler, originally published on his Patreon

This video begins to answer Question 4 of the Practicum questions in Magic for Priests in the ADF Clergy Training Program. The question prompt for this working is:  

“Having done the above work, provide detail of your understanding of why self-knowledge and introspection are critical for working with magic and how you intend to pursue your own course of self-understanding.”

This one was really thrilling to answer, actually; I loved getting it ready, writing it, and putting it together. Figuring out how to explain what I do for my ritual work was fabulous, and when I really got going, it felt really good.

The concepts of orientation and connection are ones that I often talk about, but they really flowed through when answering this question.

Magic for Priests, Practicum Question 4: Introspection

Welcome to the final part of my study guide for the Ár nDraíocht Féin Clergy Training Program’s “Magic for Priests” course. It’s possible that we should have started with this requirement, but I chose to do them in order, and here we are. If you’ve been following along with all this work, initially prepared for folks who are subscribed to my Patreon, you may have seen the entire course posted as I went. If so, thanks so much for your support! If you’re just now joining us on this journey, know that there’s more content just like this to come!

The question prompt for this requirement is:

Having done the above work, provide detail of your understanding of why self-knowledge and introspection are critical for working with magic and how you intend to pursue your own course of self-understanding.

What does the question mean?

At the most basic, this question is a leading one: it takes for granted that self-knowledge and introspection are super important, and that you’re going to seek a course of understanding. This is really all about how you intend to guide your work as you go forward.

My aim with this video is to provide some ideas and direction on how to not only design that course of self-understanding, but also how to explain it and stick to it.

This question divides out self-knowledge and introspection specifically, so we’ll speak about them individually before moving on to why they’re important, and how you can design your own course of self-understanding.

Self-Knowledge

The question of self-knowledge is a philosopher’s nightmare, or perhaps to some a dream: there are so many definitions of it that one can hardly go wrong in examining this from many angles.

I feel that it’s best to start with the Delphic Maxim, “know thyself,” inscribed on the portico of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi. Ancient philosophers were divided over exactly what it means, but I like to think of it less as a command from a deity or power; and more of a request, an ask, or even a greeting. Laconic in its brevity and weight, the statement that is a question encourages us to look within and understand so much about ourselves: our motivations, desires, and biases.

In modern philosophy, self-knowledge is somewhat standardized into an understanding of your unique mental space: your beliefs, desires, and your feelings and thoughts. It’s secure, and you are the authoritative source of it. You can only come to that understanding through your own first-person process. Self-knowledge reminds us that we are cognitive thinkers. And, of course, because you can know yourself better than anyone else possibly can, your statement about your self-knowledge has special authority and truth to it.

In psychology, self-knowledge is tied up in our self-concept (the beliefs we have about ourselves), and self-awareness, the experience of the self as an individual apart from others. What you feel and how you behave are parts of this, but so is what you think about. Our memories and our motives impact us greatly, and taking a critical look at these things helps us understand not only how we fail to perceive things correctly, but also how we misremember the past, and fail to predict appropriate outcomes in the future.

It’s worth noting, of course, that in Vedanta, a monist philosophy based on the Vedas and Upanisads, self-knowledge is pretty specific: it’s the knowledge that your individual soul is one with the soul of the divine. We’re not really talking about that in this question, but in the Vedanta tradition, this bit of knowledge is arrived at, rather than taught directly, through insight and personal work… and we’re certainly talking about doing insightful, personal work.

Introspection

Introspection can be viewed a number of different ways as well, but mostly it boils down to taking stock of your mental state, and, in some religious traditions, the state of your soul or spiritual self. Most often, this involves reflecting on both the conscious thoughts you have, and your personal feelings. It’s a process of self-discovery that is different from the sort of external observation we’re accustomed to when it comes to our motivations and mental health.

My wife has this great mug: “Keep talking, I’m diagnosing you.” Her background is all about coming to understandings through external observation, but this isn’t the sort of work you can hire someone to do for you… or have done in a coffee shop chat.

Introspection is not a session with a therapist, nor is it an external transaction. You may be able to use someone’s external observations as a check on your interpretations (and, in fact, most magicians I know go to some form of regular therapy for that very reason), but for this work, you cannot rely on them alone. Introspection requires you to be honest and open with yourself about your experiences, and to use the self-knowledge you have gained to course-correct when necessary.

To do this, we have to find ways to actively question, and even interrogate our experiences. We have to ask ourselves why we do the work we seek to do, and even why we choose to do it in the way that we do. It often involves a ruthless look at what we’ve done for ourselves and for others.

This process is not only the only path to know that our work is valid, but also that we are valid for doing the work. It forces us to question, to turn the question over and over in our minds, and to arrive at a value judgement about our work. And, more importantly, it lets us change direction or correct our course when we find that we are not going in a direction we wish to go. That constant course check and correction helps us to eventually feel good about the work we are doing, and also thus feel good about ourselves.

The process of pausing to take stock of what you have accomplished, examine the experience ruthlessly and relentlessly, and find ways to both improve it and deepen it, is a difficult and often harrowing process. But it is something that must be done in order to feel confident and valid on this path.

There are traditions that consider meditation and meditative states to be the central act of introspection; it will surprise no one who knows me that I tend to think that you must do more than simply meditate on things. I tend to think that you must also interrogate them. There is a balance between “noticing” your mental state and “interrogating” your mental state that must be struck.

The Magical Crossroads of Introspection and Self-Knowledge

So, we can say that self-knowledge is how we find security in who we are, and introspection is how we find validity in the work that we do.

As magicians, we see the world as full of wonder, promise, and strange things. I’ve done work that defies simple explanation, both remote and in person, and it can be simultaneously hard to believe and easy to take for granted. As a Druid, and as a working magician, I see the cosmic placement of my work as centered in the cosmos: I work at the center of all things, and all things revolve around that center, and are set right from that center. And what do we call the place at the center, where all paths meet? It is, of course, the magical crossroads.

Magic is, at its heart, the act of setting the cosmos right. We do that work from that magical crossroads, that liminal place of mist and seafoam, where the fire is kindled and bright. And if you’ve done the work for a while, you’ve been there, and you’ve seen how strange the experience can be when you’re knee deep in a transfiguration of reality.

We know that the way can be confusing when you stand there at the crossroads, where the magical and the physical meet in an episode of temporal flux. When you stand in gnosis, everything is connected and everything happens all at once. In that moment, when the cosmos is thundering about you and you are reshaping reality as we all know it, it is easy to get lost.

So at the crossroads, you require two things: a map, and a compass. Fortunately, you come prepared to this work. Your working plan for magic is your map: a spell, a ritual structure, or even the intentionally-lit candle you have just kindled. Your compass? That is your sense of self, your understanding of what brought you here, and your firm connection to your desires and goals. By centering on both the security of who we are, and the validity of our work, we have a sense of both place and purpose that we can lean on when things are confusing, hard, or simply difficult to discern.

Here at the crossroads, standing at the center, we know where our Pole Star is. We know where the needle points. We know how to discern center and circumference, because we know who we are. We are secure in ourselves, and we are valid in our skill and direction.

And that is the true magic that keeps us safe at the crossroads.

The Course of Self-Understanding

The final step in this question is about the future: how will you set your course and navigate the waters of this work? 

For me, I’ve developed a process to center myself with the Spirits at that magical crossroads, and I’d like to share it with you now.

Divination

First, I start each working with divination: this is my chance to verbally ask the question to an entity outside of myself, and to see the response through the lens of both that external spirit community I am part of, and also through my own internal experience of the space. Occasionally, though not often, I will also seek out someone else to read for me, for an additional check on my work and my choices.

Journaling

Next, I keep a journal of my work. I take copious notes to remember not only what I have done, but also who I have done it for or with, what my divination had to say about it, and what the outcomes were. This helps me chart not only what has been done in the past, but also to revisit the signs and portents of my communication with the Spirits. It’s another tool of orientation in the midst of swirling chaos and cosmos: a record of where you’ve been and where you want to go.

And I can’t recommend journaling enough: even if all you do is take a photo of the divination you did and store it away in an album on your phone, it gives you an opportunity to return to it later, without having to struggle to call it back to mind.

Retreat Days

Also, each month I build a day in to retreat from the mundane a bit, and center my practice. During these retreat days, I have several goals.

Space for Others

The first goal is to create Space for Others; a unique understanding about my personal practice is that it is community-oriented first; ritual for others is as fulfilling, if not more so, as ritual for myself. So, my first goal is always to make sure that I am doing work for others on a retreat day.

Space for Self

But of course, you cannot always be working for others, because your magical skill requires you to experiment and push the envelope of your own practice to ensure that the skills remain sharp and well-used. To this end, I always make Space for Self another key goal. This is often personal devotional work, or cleaning an altar, or preparing for a group ritual I intend to do. It might simply be kindling a flame in the fire pit and experiencing the warmth of a good fire.

Space for Divination

I also make Space for Divination. One of the core tenets of our work as Druids is that we can not only speak to the Spirits, but we can hear their voices in turn. We’re fortunate in our work to have symbol sets that can provide a direct line of connection and communication with the Spirits: we have context beyond our inner thoughts and concerns to help us work through things.

Space for Reflection

Our lives are busy, and it’s hard to keep up with everything we have done. To that end, I have set one of my goals for this retreat to be Space for Reflection. Sometimes, I re-read old journal entries, or remind myself of the divination I have done over the past month. I’ve mentioned before that I journal my divinations, and diving back into those journals is often a key bit of work here. Other times, I consider a specific problem or concern, and I try to use this time to focus on it. I question my ethics and my reactions to things, and I try to figure out if there are ways to do better. And if I’ve learned anything over this work, there are always ways to do better. This time helps me plan those better things, and prepare for them, as well.

Space for Writing

When I started doing this work, I called the next goal of my retreat day “space for writing.” In many ways, that’s still pretty accurate, but it may best be described now as “space for creation,” because as I’ve become more interested in the variety of ways we can communicate with others, I’ve also introduced more variety into how I achieve this end goal. Sometimes, it is art, sometimes it is recording a video like this one, and sometimes it’s editing an audio podcast or planning an experience for others. Many times, there’s a writing element to it for accessibility purposes (after all, this video has a transcript available on my Patreon), so I like to keep the name of the goal, “space for writing.” But this goal is all about producing something; we all fight against the very complicating notion that we aren’t doing “enough,” whatever that is. Setting a goal to write, create, or produce something helps me bridge that gap and keep self-doubt at bay.

Space for Reconnection

Finally, I ensure that there is always space for reconnection: I have always thought of religious work, that it comes from that pair of Latin roots re- (again) and -ligio (connect)… so the aim of this work is always re-connection. And so I ensure that a part of my retreat day goals should be just that: to reconnect to the Spirits, my personal sacred space, and the relationships that I have so carefully crafted over time. Sometimes this is a full rite. Sometimes this is a simple offering of praise or art. Sometimes, it is a process of re-evaluating my recent work and finding the gaps. Whatever it is though, I work hard to ensure that my retreat day does not end until I have successfully managed to feel this: reconnected.

So, my course of Self-Understanding is really this: check in with the Spirits regularly, take notes about the work you do, and spend time doing and reviewing the work. This is a lot, and it’s the process that works for me. It’s taken me years to build up to this level of work, and I encourage you not to overcommit yourself as you build this course of Self-Understanding: be kind to yourself as you do this work.

Other options to consider

Of course, not all of us are alike, and what works for me may not work for you. For a lot of folks, there is a real need to talk about and discuss things with an external third party who is in the room with you, and many, many magicians I know make therapy a part of the normal course of their self-understanding. If you have difficulty getting to a place where this process is a doable process, let your therapist help guide you in methods of self-understanding… or find a therapist if you don’t already have access to one.

There are also more magical templates for retreat days out there; consider Ian Corrigan’s template from The Book of Nine Moons, which is outlined in brief on p. 9 of my copy: it involves greeting the morning, doing work with each of the Three Kindreds, divination, and a full rite in the evening.

Finally, I’d like to reiterate that you should build in kindness toward yourself in this process. I take vacations from my work; if I’m away from home, sometimes I don’t do my work. We all need breaks, and I encourage you to allow yourself both time to work your way into this work of introspection, and also a flexibility to change it to better fit your needs if it turns out that your initial plan isn’t as good for you as you thought it might be on paper.

Conclusion

So, that is how I navigate my own Self-Knowledge, Introspection, and the perpetuation of Self-Understanding. I hope that you’ll find something to inspire you in this work as well. And, of course, this is the final question in this course. If you enjoyed it and found it useful, consider becoming a Patron on Patreon: when and if I do another complete study guide like this one, it’ll show up there first.

Thanks!